and i’ve lost my mind..

so me, being the highly intellegent girl that i am once again snooped through the boyfriends stuff…email actually. i don’t know why really. i blame it on a gut feeling. i mean i don’t think he’s “one of those guys,” but i’ve thought that about a lot of guys and been proven wrong time and time again. maybe it’s because i notice changes, not big personality changes, but little things. i know the longer you date someone, the more comfortable to get. the way you greet them changes, they way you talk to them changes, you don’t always feel so guilty about showing your ass every once in awhile. but when your guy starts turning off his phone at night, and neglecting to mention certain “friends,” ones mind does start to wonder. i know, once again this is what I GET for snooping, BUT whats so wrong with just sharing with me, oh hey i heard from my friend tenisha today. she was one of the people i met on the cruise. seriously, whats so hard about that? the more secretive you keep something, the more the other person imagines, blows out of proportion and goes to extreme lengths to find out what is being kept from them.

and if you have maybe spent an hour max hanging out with someone, that you swear you didn’t sleep with, why do you feel neccesary to keep in contact with that person almost a year later? people meet people everyday…..never once have i texted someone that i had just met: i miss you, xoxo. how does someone like that even make a significant impact? so this is hoe number 2. those are only acceptable if you’ve known your friend for years… and i mean YEARS.

so what i found. the boyfriend asking home girl for her new number again, ending in a “sorry beautiful” and her responding with her number and i’ll text you later today and a “p.s. I miss you” not to mention sending nudy pictures to his email when we had been dating for 3 months. what just because she isn’t here it makes it ok to do by phone? really? so if you’re not “that guy” why? so i asked said boyfriend why, i confessed to snooping and blamed it on myself, and all i got was she’s just a friend.

i feel like i overlook so much ALL the time, i’ve hit my limit of things i can overlook. and now… if thats getting sent to your email (that you don’t ever check) then what gets sent to your phone that i don’t see? whats even better is the boyfriend thinks he’s innocent in all of it. he doesn’t email, but went out of his was to send her an email asking for her number. if you told me when we first met that you thought she was nuts because she practically stalked you from the cayman islands than wtf? why do you still talk to her almost a year later? seriously.

i mean i know my relationship is now truly fucked and if it happens to survive this, it will take a long time for trust to come back, but seriously, i don’t do it to you, why must you do it to me? ya’ll speak the truth to me, am i completely retarded for this even bothering me?

freaking help.

WTF mates!: someone PLEASE tell me

davidkphan:

I just don’t understand…..

Things between Nathan and I are…..tense, at the present time. We have horrible communication issues, mostly because he doesn’t share and I do. Sometimes its really enough for me to pull my hair out, why can’t he just talk?!

on top of all that stuff this dumb hoe in… I…

 People always want what they can’t have, hence me fawning after Kellan Lutz. Perhaps this hoe is just wanting attention and thinks she can get this from Nathan. I think the better question to ask is “is Nathan responding or entertaining her” If that is the case, then I would bring it up.

You two have been dating long enough that you should be secure in asking these questions. I’ve looked through my boyfriends phone, and it astonishes me how much he loves me. If i ever saw him text someone back with a hint of flirtaciousness you better believe I would say some thing.

Lastly as far as your communication problems. Some times it’s best to sit back and look at the big picture. What has changed, what do you feel, what does he feel. Then I highly suggest writing how you feel, and how he makes you feel on a letter, I say letter because I know Nathan doesn’t do email. Then give it to him and let him know that you want him to read it and you want his honest opinion. If you two are going to work things out you need to communicate. Some times a letter is good because it is one fluid thought and which cannot be interrupted by yelling or screaming.

If you two truely love each other than you’ll make it work.

love you!

 I knew I could count on you David Phan! I’m not sure if he is entertaining her back, he’s gotten sneaky with his phone, because the last time I looked I freaked out because Sonia and him still say “I love you.” So he has gotten into the habit of turning off his phone at night, which I asked him about awhile ago and he brushed off. Last night though he was already asleep when I got home and I plugged his phone into the charger for him and left it alone….until it woke me up in the middle of the night. I know that he loves me, and that some of it is my own issues with trust and my own insecurities, but it’s just annoying to have some skank even try. Serious, just go away.

And as far as the communication thing…oh dear god I have tried EVERYTHING. I’m currently reading “don’t sweat the small stuff in love” and they have some really great concepts, that I am trying to practice now. I have written him numerous letters and emails, I just can’t seem to get through his head that we are on the same team. I’m always there for him no matter what, even if I’m upset. But I’m running out of ideas, I really think that we need to counsel together so that we have a neutral 3rd party to help us to communicate, but I don’t think he would do it. He thinks that men don’t counsel.

I hope that we can work through it, but I can’t do it alone.

Thanks for your advice! xoxo

oh my gosh I LOVE IT! you look so good ! thisisntchrissy: This weekend… Was a whirlwind. Worked until after 6 on Friday. Got home, threw my dog and my laundry in the car and drove over to my Sisters because she was having a mental breakdown. As awful as it sounds this was kind of a good thing for me because I worked at the horse show all weekend, and her house is about 30 mins closer to the show grounds than I am. I never discount extra sleep. A bottle of wine and a trip to Target cured her “breakdown”, go figure. I work the horse shows a couple times a month for extra money. It’s great because I get paid to be somewhere I would usually be anyway, plus I get to carry around a clipboard and a walkie talkie and have a mid-level authority position. I’m at the bottom of the food chain at work and miss having any kind of authority, so I get a good “boss” fix at the shows. The only downside to working at the horse shows is that I don’t get to compete. USUALLY. Yesterday worked out like that, but today one of the kids I know had a pretty bad fall (not hurt but was shaken up) and her trainer wanted to get the horse back in the ring with someone else piloting before the kid went back in. Happens to be a horse I have ridden a couple of times so I grabbed my boots and helmet out of my car, borrowed a pair of breeches, a belt, and a polo shirt, and did a schooling class. A little nervewracking, but the horse was great and I had fun. One of the Moms took this pic - Ewwww I look awful in pink, but love how tan my arms got from being in the sun all weekend. Gamble (the horse) is adorable! Hope everyone had a great weekend!

oh my gosh I LOVE IT! you look so good !

thisisntchrissy:

This weekend…

Was a whirlwind.

Worked until after 6 on Friday. Got home, threw my dog and my laundry in the car and drove over to my Sisters because she was having a mental breakdown. As awful as it sounds this was kind of a good thing for me because I worked at the horse show all weekend, and her house is about 30 mins closer to the show grounds than I am. I never discount extra sleep. A bottle of wine and a trip to Target cured her “breakdown”, go figure.

I work the horse shows a couple times a month for extra money. It’s great because I get paid to be somewhere I would usually be anyway, plus I get to carry around a clipboard and a walkie talkie and have a mid-level authority position. I’m at the bottom of the food chain at work and miss having any kind of authority, so I get a good “boss” fix at the shows.

The only downside to working at the horse shows is that I don’t get to compete. USUALLY. Yesterday worked out like that, but today one of the kids I know had a pretty bad fall (not hurt but was shaken up) and her trainer wanted to get the horse back in the ring with someone else piloting before the kid went back in. Happens to be a horse I have ridden a couple of times so I grabbed my boots and helmet out of my car, borrowed a pair of breeches, a belt, and a polo shirt, and did a schooling class. A little nervewracking, but the horse was great and I had fun. One of the Moms took this pic - Ewwww I look awful in pink, but love how tan my arms got from being in the sun all weekend. Gamble (the horse) is adorable!

Hope everyone had a great weekend!

someone PLEASE tell me

I just don’t understand…..

Things between Nathan and I are…..tense, at the present time. We have horrible communication issues, mostly because he doesn’t share and I do. Sometimes its really enough for me to pull my hair out,  why can’t he just talk?!

on top of all that stuff this dumb hoe in… I think she lives in new york… he met her on the cruise, has started texting him and sending him picture mails again. I know this because I was snooping while he was sleepin… I know I’m going to hell, but sometimes one must do what they must do, rational or not. So needless to say said hoe always texts him after 1 am in the morning and this time was asking him for a picture because she “misses his sexy face”…uhhhh is it normal for people to get so attached to someone they met and maybe hung out with for like 3 days. ohhhhhh more than 8 months ago… then i wrote down her email from his phone and looked her up on facebook and her display picture is of her and another guy at disney or somewhere kissing. WTF?! So is this some attention thing?.. She wants attention from my boyfriend? is that it?

juiceygurl: justbesplendid: oops..  oh my gosh I just saw his thingie!

juiceygurl:

justbesplendid:

oops..

 oh my gosh I just saw his thingie!

(via dailycuteboy) oh Channing how we love thee.

(via dailycuteboy)

oh Channing how we love thee.

juiceygurl: (via sweethomestyle) looovvvvvessssss it

juiceygurl:

(via sweethomestyle)

looovvvvvessssss it

Aquarium

davidkphan:

lilbrownperson:

I wanna go to ATL to see the big aquarium still. Lets plan a trip!

WORD!! I can commit to this when I am done with a wedding on October 17th, after that all my committments are done!

Freakin Fabulous, I couldn’t go til after Oct… lots of stuff in Oct.

juiceygurl: starsandbutterflies: Ong & Ong Architecture.  Jaw-dropping. oh what I wouldn’t give!

juiceygurl:

starsandbutterflies:

Ong & Ong Architecture.  Jaw-dropping.

oh what I wouldn’t give!

dailycuteboy: (via supermanalf) oooo oooo ooo pick me!

dailycuteboy:

(via supermanalf)

oooo oooo ooo pick me!